i read somewhere just like stamps, or leaves, or memories trauma can be collected it can grow and get passed down the line much like brown eyes, dimples cancer, and depression. they say evidence is traced - redrawn in blood pressure and that's the reason one of the reasons why certain populations have it more than others but you can't make me believe that i lose my words because its a ghost imprint of my grandmother's fear of confrontation my trauma is my own and i'm too selfish to share
You are not the main character Of some iconoclastic battle Defending those who stand by you Or with you Because you can't stand against evil You can't even stand You chase fever dreams Butterflies That will always be out of reach A Don Quixote of your own design And I've lost count of efforts Of being your Rocinante Of leading you To a new More beautiful Dulcinea So fight your windmills. I'm not your Sancho. I never was for this.
Sworn to carry my burdens. But I don't think you can can. They are something I have left behind Somewhere beyond the screen You can't touch them. Even if you see them Even if you are the only one who Sees them So swear them away instead. Take a walk with me to High Hrothgar. Let's get trolled. Stay until I get a a grey beard Or at least until I grow one And can handle my burdens on my own.
She held up a frame Tilted to angle her crooked smile And addressed Her audience of one "I am now a work of art." He took it away - Set it in the firewood stack Not looking back His arms around her "This is your real frame And it moves more than you. You are a piece I made So I know It will never define you. Because art as fine as you Can never be contained."
Was it that your fingertips Always long and impatient Ached to meet with mine? Was it that your eyes Happened to see a ghost In the memory in my name? I always thought that I was a grain lost in your sands of time. But here we are. I'm a profile you collected Like a leaf on the ground Like a cracker jack prize sticker or an unread magazine. Or an old photograph of someone who spent everyday Talking about things that were small like grains of sand. I hit accept, because for me you were a shell I collected One that was so painstakingly beautiful Because of the sounds I could listen to When you were in my ear. I hit accept because I wanted to know if you still made Those wonderful wonderful effects, if your words were still music - Symphonies of stupid speeches and serendipitous songs. And so I accepted. I asked a question. Won't you let me know?
They say you have a golden touch That you ease down the throat Like the sweetest of waters Or a really good lie that one wants to believe in. You some how magically appear In all the lunch boxes Because you are a force That cannot not be undone Yoda said try not, do and so You, do you. And I am allergic to you. I know this because before When I was at a birthday party Barely 5 years on this earth I tried to take you in And you fought Caused my body to raise up heat Almost as hot as flames Cause you fought like hell and brought all its heat. I am allergic to you. So tonight, burn me. I won't hide. Just burn me Enough for the bleeding of my heart will stop Because I got a cut And I need a quicker action than a needle can do.
Where did I confuse this long silence For the slip of my fingers on the pause button? The lines on a page can connect and make symbols but where are the cymbals’ crash the well placed imaginations of a dying onomatopoeia? I’m straining to listen To what I once heard to so well. The metaphors were once The sopranos of my hands. The personifications that would press on my mind Like the black and white keys of a yes please or I don’t know. There used to be music in my writing. But I’ve been on this rest bar too long too long, to say that I’m still playing.
Your heart is a processor And I've been moved around. I saved myself in your files I know I have But maybe I screwed up the name, The extension, Or was it overwritten?
First I need
To make sure you need
Saving.
That the pulse caught in your throat
Isn't a hum or a sigh
Or a crescendo falling towards
The wrong direction
But is all together
Choked
So down the heels of my hands
Will strike
Like a ritual
drumming
what's gone missing -
A tradition
A force
The last will for living
But I can't reach deep
Just a shallow 2 inches
Into your chest
Above your sleeping heart
That space should comply
With what I want most from you
I want it to
Until 10 minutes pass
And so do you.
Maybe all you see
Is the radiation of my life-
The pale green light
That hangs under the moon
When heat has rested
Her hands on your chest
And the stars have all
But shut their eyes.
And your ears are trapped
By the thick orchestra of
Cricket legs -
Friction and follicles flying
To serenade
the dark upside down sea.
But I will tell you
Summer nights
Are more touch and taste
Then they seem